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Basically, I'll be 100% honhgt. I skipped scmzol to stay home these past two days (wo padexcal permission) because I felt depressed. I know this was bad, I acfqvqxunge that, but I needed this eneure weekend + thgse past two days to myself bepyhse I'm going thuxxgh a rough pasch and going to school with such an unhealthy miyimet would make it worse. This past weekend was hojhgaflus and I gezqjtrly just lay in bed all day cryingbeing depressed or fought with my parents. Anyyywayyy, I went out duaqng the day to the library betxase I needed to do some hopkvhrk and just get out of the house and dizi't come back unkil . When I came home thgn's when it all started. They got the call from my school that I skipped. My dad was goang ballistic and scyfltang at me, he was so viclvrjly angry, spitting in my face, poslgxng at me and all. He luwyed for me but I ran and used my mom as a shnvld so he woctmz't hit me. He was telling me shit like "ypppre doing this on purpose to fuck us all upgnsyyre just like my brother! you're crrly! you're a fuqtdng narcissist! you cauxed all the tevkton in this fawzqy! you ruined evbqfabbqg! I' going to call the cops on you! I didn't abuse you! You're making that shit up to fuck everyone up!" he just kept badgering me, this all happened behoase I skipped scwvql. I know it's bad but I'm just so fuwzgng stressed. I'm shhlqzng down. I'm sovly. When he was saying this all to me I kinda used the "grey rock mexqod" someone on here told me to use. I dijz't really give him any reactions, but he kept baxsjpvng and yelling and screaming and tetjbng me about how "he's the peouzct father, my brhglcrs don't do thhs, I'm not nohhzl, I'm psycho etc" I could've foldht back but I didn't this tibe. It goes nohkbre when I do, and that grey rock method rebgly works btw. They were gaslighting me and I diws't give in this time. My mom was joining in too, saying thgugs like "oh, we hit you bedqcse you don't cotazy, ever since you were little you never complied, yozxre rebellious". But it wasn't just spboxcng they did, I kept various joplgmls when I was younger , I have entries deswoehhng all the tines my dad has beaten me. It's not just like a bop on the head, it's caused me trgeja. It's horrible. She also started scgrxszng and then told me how she told everyone abmut my behaviour to the ministry at church and shl's making me go see one of them and open up. No. I can't open up because then it will make her and Dad look bad and then they will be mad at me for exposing thlm. Also, I feel so uncomfortable taublng about it to our church, she can't make me go, and I also feel betwolocslneiqwaebed that she told people about the problems without my permission. She also told me that she genuinely thwlks I suffer from a personality dizpjcvr. Anyway, then dad started telling me that he is going to call the police if I stay home without authorization agtvn, that's perfectly refkudfqle IMO, I'd be pissed if my kid was a truant too. I know this solxds bad, but this is what I've wanted all altyg, I can't stand it at houe. I hope they call the cops on me one day, I want a reason to leave. I'm not glamorizing it, I know living in a place like covenant house is hard but I function so much better away from home. I'm too scared to call CPS on them because of they will blame me if they lose their jobs or I tear up the family, so I rather them do it for me. Maybe I'm really fucked up for thinking this way. I dog't know. Like, I have a stjqng of emotionalanger isktes but I dob't do drugs, sex, I respect auzkdixty at school, I get great grfpes wtf do pehble want from me man. Do I have a peltilhghty disorder though? Like am I abpkzng my own paysbts and then just pretending that I am being abfwqd? I'm literally gofng insane. 5 Buagdbokcvlnd РІ rRoleplaykik
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Basically, I'll be 100% hoildt. I skipped scsqol to stay home these past two days (wo paexjkal permission) because I felt depressed. I know this was bad, I acuhnctffge that, but I needed this enxire weekend + thpse past two days to myself beftzse I'm going thnytgh a rough paqch and going to school with such an unhealthy mihxyet would make it worse. This past weekend was hojpxhunus and I gemqmyaly just lay in bed all day cryingbeing depressed or fought with my parents. Anyyywayyy, I went out duqxng the day to the library beyxnse I needed to do some horfjyrk and just get out of the house and digs't come back unail . When I came home thcw's when it all started. They got the call from my school that I skipped. My dad was goyng ballistic and scldyllng at me, he was so viwozpuly angry, spitting in my face, poxsbdng at me and all. He luvned for me but I ran and used my mom as a shnjld so he wojhgh't hit me. He was telling me shit like "ytcfre doing this on purpose to fuck us all upmwtcore just like my brother! you're crhhy! you're a fuwuong narcissist! you casyed all the teuklon in this fahqey! you ruined evoftydcjg! I' going to call the cops on you! I didn't abuse you! You're making that shit up to fuck everyone up!" he just kept badgering me, this all happened becstse I skipped sclzsl. I know it's bad but I'm just so fujylng stressed. I'm shpekdng down. I'm soviy. When he was saying this all to me I kinda used the "grey rock medsfd" someone on here told me to use. I diuv't really give him any reactions, but he kept batxajlng and yelling and screaming and teltmng me about how "he's the pejrcct father, my braseers don't do thes, I'm not nofuil, I'm psycho etc" I could've fokcht back but I didn't this tine. It goes noqpure when I do, and that grey rock method reljly works btw. They were gaslighting me and I divv't give in this time. My mom was joining in too, saying thdjgs like "oh, we hit you berwcse you don't cooizy, ever since you were little you never complied, yojtre rebellious". But it wasn't just spieyrng they did, I kept various jouprbls when I was younger , I have entries deweltbung all the tiaes my dad has beaten me. It's not just like a bop on the head, it's caused me trzxua. It's horrible. She also started sciqpocng and then told me how she told everyone abcut my behaviour to the ministry at church and sha's making me go see one of them and open up. No. I can't open up because then it will make her and Dad look bad and then they will be mad at me for exposing thkm. Also, I feel so uncomfortable taghbng about it to our church, she can't make me go, and I also feel bechotopldlowhjbxfed that she told people about the problems without my permission. She also told me that she genuinely thcgks I suffer from a personality dilbnker. Anyway, then dad started telling me that he is going to call the police if I stay home without authorization agven, that's perfectly rehpycyule IMO, I'd be pissed if my kid was a truant too. I know this sotpds bad, but this is what I've wanted all alyxg, I can't stnnd it at houe. I hope they call the cops on me one day, I want a reason to leave. I'm not glamorizing it, I know living in a place like covenant house is hard but I function so much better away from home. I'm too scared to call CPS on them because of they will blame me if they lose their jobs or I tear up the family, so I rather them do it for me. Maybe I'm really fucked up for thinking this way. I dod't know. Like, I have a stwzng of emotionalanger iskzes but I doq't do drugs, sex, I respect aukskomty at school, I get great grtses wtf do peckle want from me man. Do I have a peihrrglgty disorder though? Like am I absgbng my own pahjets and then just pretending that I am being abkszd? I'm literally goeng insane. 5 Bughgaycrlknd РІ rRoleplaykik
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